travel bug?

Not that I have the money to travel to awesome places ("awesome" is subjective...I think that Stew Leonard's is awesome, though that's less of an opinion and more fact), but I still want to travel!

Granted, I don't have the time at the moment to carry out said travel plans. That's actually one of the good things about marching band...even though it takes up a lot of time, I get to see a lot of the east coast...FO' FREE!

Here is my list of places to go:

1. Mount Vernon, IA

I NEED to go visit my friend Mara. We went to Camp Young Judaea Midwest together. We discovered that we share the same birthday and are basically two halves of the same person (She's the bubbly, effervescent half and I'm the cynical half.)! She goes to Cornell College and is making aliyah after she graduates...so I should visit her now, before she moves halfway across the world!

The only issue is that Cornell College is about 3 hours away from my house by car, and I'm not sure that my parents will let me borrow the car to make the trip.

2. Philadelphia, PA

I also need to visit Mike, my Facebook husband. And Philadelphia is a pretty cool place.

3. Annendale on Hudson, NY

I need to go to Bard College to visit Josh!

And beyond?

So I'm in Florida...

Florida is great! I'm visiting my grandparents right now in Cape Coral, which is in South West Florida.

As I was boarding my connecting flight from Miami International Airport to Southwest Florida International Airport, the woman scanning the tickets turned to me and said, "How old are you?" I was shocked. Do I really look like I am not old enough to fly by myself? I told her that I'm 20 (I had to pause for a second, because I haven't had to tell people of my entrance into this new decade very often), and she said, "Okay, big girl!"

It was weird. And patronizing.

Then, I went to Home Depot with my grandpa, to try to find a new mini fridge, preferably with hinges on the left side (so my left-handed grandpa has an easier time getting his beer out of the mini fridge while watching football). They didn't have what he was looking for, so the woman turned to me and said, "Go online and try to find it for him." They then had a discussion about how they can't use the internet.

It's official: I'm the youngest person here.

The weather is apparently unseasonably warm, which I love. It's in the 80s and sunny! I found a great running route, but I have no desire to wake up before the sun is in full force, so I haven't been doing quite as much running (25 minutes yesterday, 33 minutes today...okay, so maybe not THAT much less...) I don't think I'm going to get rid of my awesome farmer's tan, but I think I definitely have more freckles now than I did two days ago...win! There's also the pool, but it's not as fun by myself. When I came to Florida with my family, my siblings and I would swim together...which always devolved into fighting (I'm a mean fighter). This is my second visit to Florida by myself (I also came to Florida by myself last October), and since my schedule doesn't really line up with my family's, I'm not sure when the next time I'll be able to go on a family vacation with them (aside from when we visit my Grandma for Christmas) will be.

As for homework...I've done a little. For me, this is a big deal, so you should be happy for me! I'm writing a paper on A Clockwork Orange, about how the orchestral music relates to the violence and sexual imagery.

But now, on to the most important thing...stone crab claws. The season just began. Here's how it works: The crabs can regrow their claws! This means that the fishermen catch the crabs. If the crab has 2 claws, they take the bigger claw and put the crabs back. If the crab only has 1 claw, they aren't allowed to take anything. This means that the claws are the best in the beginning of the season, because there are more of them. The claws are hard, like porcelain. In the restaurant, they sometimes pre-crack them for you, to make it easier. You take the claw cracker and use it to whack the claw, rather than crack it. Pieces of the claw then chip off, and then you can pull the crab meat out with a little fork. It tastes absolutely incredible. My grandpa likes to use the butter sauce with the crab, but I think it's too rich for that (plus, the emulsified butter grosses me out), but I think that it actually goes best with mustard (yes, Grey Poupon).

So yeah, vacation rocks!

Whee!

School is going the way it always does.

So is marching band.

This week, my goal is to run 4 miles everyday. To be honest, I don't really notice the addition of the extra mile. My running pace is a little slower, but that's it.

This weekend, I'm going to Florida to visit my Grandpa and Buscia (I think that's Polish for grandma? Anyways, she's my step-grandma...she and my grandpa got married when my mom was in middle school or high school...so basically I grew up with a 3rd grandma.)! I'm leaving on Saturday afternoon and returning to NYC on Tuesday afternoon.

Today I had a meeting at Hillel with someone from Nefesh b'Nefesh (Hebrew for "soul in soul"), an organization that facilitates aliyah (Jews moving to Israel and gaining Israeli citizenship) in North America and the UK. It was really informative. The woman went through the benefits that an oleh (a new Israeli citizen) receives (free M.A., 5 months of intensive Hebrew lessons, money, subsidized housing...things like that).

Basically, what I found out is that if I want to take the plunge and move to Israel, I'll need to first spend a year or two working and paying off my student loans. While I would receive money from the state, it wouldn't be that much. I could qualify for extra grant money when making aliyah if I demonstrate the need, but I would need to make significant progress on paying my loans back.

I still don't know if this is what I want to do. But I know that if I choose this, my future in the US will not involve grad school immediately after getting my B.A.s.

retrospect

Last year, I had a serious case of the sophomore slump. I knew it at the time, but looking back, I'm not sure I knew how bad it was. I think that I'm consistently happier this year...which is good, since it's happening right now. Deep, I know. It's weird, saying, "I was generally unhappy last year. I'm less depressed now." Part of this is because I highly doubt that I was suffering from clinical depression, and having lived with people who have to live with depression everyday, I'm always very hesitant to claim tendencies from any mental affliction. (I prefer to think that I'm the most normal person you'll ever meet.) I have moods, but then again, so does everyone else.

I do think that running has helped me. Running everyday has to lead to more endorphins, or something. Also, I'm getting regular exercise. That's probably a good thing.

In general, I'm massively behind on work. If there's a paper due or an exam coming up, I write the paper the night before (like I'm doing now) or I cram for a day or two before the exam. I used to be so much better than this. And yet, I really do think that it's going to work out.

I'm not as interested in anthropology anymore. I was going to focus on ethnomusicology, but it just didn't work out. Since I decided that I'm going to law school, I decided to not write a thesis. Sure, I need to get good grades, but some of the joy of academic pursuit is gone. I'm generally enjoying my classes, but they're just that--classes. I'm not sure how much bearing they will have on my life after I graduate, and I'm more than okay with that.

The classes that I take in the cantorial school frustrate me. I have a different background than the cantorial students. I can't sing as well as them (I chose violin/french horn lessons over voice lessons, which I think was the smart choice), but I have a stronger musical background (which comes with having played musical instruments since I was 6). I also have a strong background in chanting Torah/haftorah/all of the other scrolls that involve chanting...so the only thing that I am lacking is experience as a choral singer. That's it. It's so weird, sitting in classes with people who will one day go on to lead synagogues...it makes me realize that I could do that. I might even enjoy it. I'm just not sure that I have enough religious conviction to do that sort of thing. I sure as hell don't have the patience...I'll never be a people person. I guess the frustrating thing is that as far as the classes go, it all looks so easy. I know that's not actually true, but that's the way it looks.

I think this means I need to make an appointment with my major advisor/dean of the cantorial school and have a chat. I actually need to do this anyways, since I'm almost done with my JTS major...

I haven't started studying for the LSAT, but I'm taking a (free) practice test in December. I want to be done with all of that shit as soon as possible. I'm kind of afraid. When I was in high school, I had an ACT tutor, but I can't really afford that kind of thing now. I bought the prep books, hopefully they'll help out. And hopefully I'll get good grades and everything will work out. I'm already fantasizing about winter break.

I've been thinking about Thanksgiving a lot...going home, getting to see friends. I'm not even joking, I already know what I'm going to be doing for most of the holiday...all my "free time" is scheduled. This is the first time I've ever really been looking forward to going home. I used to be so proud of the fact that I was so independent, living far from home. That's changed this semester. When I think about grad school, I think about going back to Illinois, hoping that I can get into either UChicago or Northwestern.

But you know what? I can honestly say that despite my procrastinating and homesick ways (and the fact that I really need to clean my room), life is good.

How's that for an update?

conversation

Arielle was leaving Goldsmith today as I got back from my run.

Arielle: You look sweaty!

Me: I just got back from my run.

Arielle: You don't run!

Me: I run almost 3 miles a day

Arielle: Since when?

Me: Since this semester.

Proof that your freshman year roommate(s) can change! Also proof that I can go running everyday and still be out of shape. Poop. (At least you can't call me lazy!)

You know that thing called homework?

You don't? Neither do I.

So far, this semester is going well. Conveniently enough, I haven't had any real work due. Do you smell an impending disaster? Because I do.

I'm not sure if running will ever be something that I love, but it's something that I've come to enjoy. Sometimes. Running 2.5+ miles and not keeling over doesn't seem like much of an accomplishment now, but 6+ weeks ago, it might have seemed like one. I have 3 more weeks of the 5k training, and then I'm going to start working towards a 10k. I called my little brother up to get running advice (and to apologize for anything I've done in the past year to hurt him, Yom Kippur-style), and he was really happy to give me advice. Basically, running is the only thing that I am doing consistently that I am not required to do. Because doing my class reading isn't required.

This year, I'm doing work study at the JTS library, because I'm getting a scholarship from the school. Shelving books is kind of zen-like, when I'm left alone at it. It's not something I would willingly do otherwise, but it's really not that bad.

This year, I'm also an assistant teacher in a special needs class at the Hebrew school. Or, as Meir, the head teacher and most adorable old man I have ever met, says, I am his co-teacher. I really enjoy the work. I have no desire to go into education, but I do look forward to going to work on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. It's nice.

Marching band is going pretty much the same way it always has, except that now I'm one of the older people, which I get a kick out of. Also, I'm the "Real Sarah", which I find entertaining.

Charline and I are working on a web show. It will be awesome and immature and inappropriate. Whee! We have most of the rough draft of episode 1 done. I'd love to finish the script, polish it, and film the episode by the end of the month. This will involve casting willing friends/other people to be in the show, as well as acquiring old lady costumes for Charline and myself. We'll also have to actually find time to film it. We'll see how that goes.

I'm surprised/dismayed by my current relationship with alcohol. That is to say, I'm not really into it in the way I used to be. Either I'm more mature/health conscious now, or I'm just getting boring. It's probably the later.

This update has been very long overdue. My bad.

and now I'm here

and so it goes
and so it goes

and you're the only one that knows

NYC is as awesome as always. Running is actually going well. I feel like there is more to say. That is to say, there probably is.

Oh well.